“Hemingway and James Joyce were drinking buddies in Paris. Joyce was thin and bespectacled; Hemingway was tall and strapping. When they went out Joyce would get drunk, pick a fight with a bigger guy in the bar and then hide behind Hemingway and yell, “Deal with him, Hemingway. Deal with him.””—
I went to lunch and there were these two dudes sitting at a table next to me and this one guy was humming something and getting really into it and then the other guy was like”Dude, stop singing beyonce. THERE IS NO NEED to SING BEYONCE.and then he was like EXCUSE YOU THERE IS ALWAYS A NEED FOR BEYONCE. and I had to hold in my laughter
I saw this and thought “Wait is this about me?!” and it was about me.
The amount of time that humans devote to altering the physical state of butter proves that the medium is more than just a spread, and is in fact a physical manifestation of excessive human pride in their own creations.
“I hear some of you complaining “women always say they want a nice guy.” I know lots of women — I’m even related to a few — and I can’t say I’ve ever heard any of them say that. I can’t prove it, but this sounds like one of those things stand-up comedians say about women and everyone else just repeats. I’ve also never known a woman who cries when she breaks a nail — although I’ve known a few who swear like a 15-year-old sailor in jail — and I’ve never had a woman ask me if her outfit made her look fat unless she actually wanted and subsequently appreciated my opinion. So either I’ve stumbled upon a secret trove of women who aren’t passive-aggressive sob machines, or you need to stop mistaking Dane Cook routines for peer-reviewed sociological studies.”—Lore Sjöberg, Alt Text: Taking Another Look at the Myth of the ‘Nice Guy’ (via wikatiepedia)